My Black Book, Note to Self


I read it some few years back from one of the leading newspaper in the country.  This article inspires me and I actually scanned the whole article for reference.  

I AM A 25-YEAR-OLD woman whose experience betrays her age. I have managed to make my parents proud with my achievements as a young girl, disappointed them with my teenage antics, and brought them full circle with my wisdom as a grown-up.

My life experiences range from the life-stylish to the life-threatening to the life-altering. I have enough juicy stories to regale my girl friends and future grandkids with. I have been in enough interesting relationships, from the supremely romantic to the downright ridiculous. I have had enough successes to make a person stand tall, and any mother proud, and I have suffered enough heartbreaks and failures to make a person diligent, compassionate and grateful.

It has not been easy, but I have realized in the past few years that life, contrary to popular notion, is indeed fair, that what a person gives he will receive, that in this world something cannot come from nothing, and that a person is who he is because he chooses to be that way.

I would have loved to share my stories in detail, but as modesty inhibits me from repeating some of them, I have chosen to write instead about the lessons I have learned and now strive to remember and live by. These are the lessons that have saved my life, kept me hopeful and made my life the blessing that it is now.

1. Count your blessings without allowing yourself to be complacent. Between ungrateful and lazy, there is a difference.

2. The fact that one has much does not earn him the right to be self-righteous and insensitive; the fact that he has little does not earn him the right to be self-righteous and spiteful.

3. The predator you must most fear?and the victim you must least pity?is yourself.

4. Sometimes, it is easier to forgive a person for being wrong than for being right.

5. The most dangerous feeling in the world is entitlement. One must not ever allow himself?under any lucky circumstance and regardless of any lucky evidence?to feel entitled to any object, consequence, treatment or relationship he has not rightfully earned either through hard work or by virtue of the person he is.

6. The quality of a man?s life is a testament to his person. When you get yourself right, you get everything right.

7. One must learn to take the good with a little grace, the bad with a little hope, and the ugly with a little humor.

8. A question one must ask himself when speaking strongly on a subject is whether he can stand by his argument in court; when speaking strongly about another person, whether he can repeat it to an audience that includes the object of his opinion. A positive answer verifies the honesty of his intention.

9. Only you can complete your person. For this reason, one should not get into any relationship for the purpose of finding completion; one cannot give to another what he is unable to give to himself.

10. Only when a person is happy, content and confident about his place in the world can he afford to wish the same for everyone else. It is awfully difficult for a person to wish others well when he feels wronged or cheated.

11. When someone tells you he loves you, ask why. To be loved for no reason is a crime; it sends the wrong message that a person could be loved though he has done nothing to make himself loveable. To be loved for a reason?especially for virtue of the person you are?is a beautiful thing. It tells you?if you have taken care of your person, if you have strived to be good and fair?that you have succeeded.

12. Faith is not passive surrender to the tides of life; it is the belief that there is a God who watches above us all, who is fair, who likes to see us try, who appreciates the merit of a job well done. Let your faith enable you in all endeavors. Let your faith be the kind that believes in God, in the human spirit, in yourself. Wish not what you finitely want but what you infinitely desire?what is best for you, all things considered. Trust in what you can do, and trust that God overlooks no hard effort.

13. There is no shame in starting, and in starting over. Remember, however, to start always with a dream, and start over with certainty and purpose.
14. A person should make friends, lovers or enemies based on one ground only: principle. Seek people of your likeness on this account, and make age, gender, race, material wealth, social status or a person?s ?normality? irrelevant.

15. Understand that the only force you can control is yourself.

16. In life there is human kindness, and human horror. Keep this in mind when you are out in the world. Have enough faith in human kindness to return an honest smile, and enough wariness of human horror to lock your front door.

17. Forever is a long time. When choosing relationships and occupations, choose who and what you really like, those that you will enjoy for the rest of your life.

18. There is nothing wrong with advertising sex for as long as one does not sell it, or give it arbitrarily.

19. Abuse often requires consent, whether explicitly given or silently suggested. You must learn to give what you hope to receive from others.

20. Surround yourself with people who care about you enough to be honest, yet care about you enough to be kind.

21. Sexy is a state of mind. It is that sense of worldliness about a man or a woman, the suggestion behind sparkling eyes and a sparkling laugh over a delicious secret just begging to be told... It is knowing your place in the world.

22. One must learn to triumph without apology and fail without excuse. To apologize for a triumph demeans the hard work that went into its achievement; to offer excuses for a failure dignifies it.

23. Choose your battles; you cannot win them all.

24. Identify your non-negotiables. A person may be unclear about what he wants, but he must know at all times what is unacceptable.

25. One must develop the habit of honest self-audits. He must start by identifying, through personal heroes, mentors or influences, his platinum standards?of character, personality and achievement?then regularly evaluate how he measures against them. Who you start as may be not be your fault, but who you become is your own doing.

26. Dare to be the exception. Be beautiful, intelligent, sexy, funny, successful and kind all at the same time and at stellar levels. Those who say it cannot be done are usually those who have tried and failed, but that is their story, not yours.

27. Each time you close your eyes, you are taken to a place where there is only you and God. Live your days in such a manner that when you are left alone with God, you do not have to avert your eyes.

28. Smile. Laugh. Kiss. Hug. Pray. Play. Work hard. Learn. Teach. Travel. Achieve. Dream. Hope. Love. Forgive. Flirt. Stay. Walk away. Commit. Have faith. Try. Share. Be single. Marry. Make babies. Raise kids. Party. Discover. Listen. Live.

Marvicci G. Mendoza, 25, works as an educator in the BPO industry and spends her free time with the people and stuff she loves.

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