2 Nuns

There were two nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),  and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).  It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. 

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for 
The past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. 

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. 
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we! do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. 
SM: It's not working. 

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only  logical thing. He started to walk faster, too. 
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. 

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and  I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. 
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is  worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. 
Then Sister Logical arrives. 

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!  Tell me what happened! 
SL: The only logical thing happened.  The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me 

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then? 
SL: The only logical thing happened! . I started to run  as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. 

SM: And? 
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. 

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? 
SL: The only logical thing to do.  I lifted my dress up. 

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? 
SL: The only logical thing to do.  He pulled down his pants. 

SM: Oh, no! What happened then? 
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?  A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down. 

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, 
Say two Hail Marys!

Your Cross


 A young man was at the end of his rope, seeing no way out, he dropped to  his knees in prayer.
"Lord, I can't go on," he said. "I have too heavy a cross to bear."

The Lord replied, "My son, if you can't bear its weight, just place your  cross inside this room.
Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish."

The man was filled with relief and said, "Thank you Lord," and he did as  he was told.

Upon entering the other room, he saw many crosses; some so large the top were not visible. Then, he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall.

  "I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered. The Lord replied, "My son, that is the cross you just brought in."

When life's problems seem overwhelming, it helps to look around and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself far more fortunate than you imagined.

   
 Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, there will always be sunshine after the rain. 

 Perhaps you may stumble , perhaps even fall, but  God's always there to help you through it all.

Two Sick Men


Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon  to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the  room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.  The men talked for hours on end.  They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on  vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods  where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity  and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.

Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.  Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with  descriptive words. Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths  only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died  peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the  hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be  moved next to the window.  The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.  Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his  first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.  It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have  compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful  things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the  wall.
She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue:

"There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations" "Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled" "If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy"

"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."